Mar 15 2013
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Daily Ramblings

Take Two

Good morning faithful readers, I have big news….are you sitting comfortably?

Earlier this week marked the 1st Anniversary of Geordie’s Girl.com or 1st Blogiversary if you like. (Hallmark are yet to make a card for this particular celebration so I’ll let you off for not sending me one) and as any struggling writer will no doubt agree, a special occasion blog post pretty much writes itself. You might now be asking why it is three days past this momentous occasion without so much as a whisper from me? Well wait for it…..I’ve been BUSY! Actually busy with proper tasks/jobs to do, not just normal chores or routine trips to Tesco.

This week I have created a mermaid and a pirate (more on that later) and accidentally redecorated my dining room in the process. I’ve endured a few hours in Middlesborough (never again) and introduced my daughter to the naughty step where she quite enjoyed the peace and quiet, at least for the first 30 seconds. Yesterday I was convinced I had broken my toes from repeatedly kicking the leg of my dining table while concentrating on painting; this put me in a bit of a bad mood as I really wanted to wear my favourite D&G heels last night. Sorry, back to the list….I have purchased a potty (for my daughter) travelled approximately 530 miles around the country, attended a very impressive parents evening and topped it all off last night with a lot of rum. As I type I am eating Rolo’s for breakfast, I look like a poor man’s Gene Simmons thanks to non-removal of make-up before bed and I have the sudden urge to go for a run!? Thank God I left my gym kit at home!

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Aaarrrgghhhhh

Okay so its been a very busy week and while I have neglected you a little, I have achieved a lot. From the very bottom of my heart, and to each and every single person who has read just a word of the blog….thank you. You have brightened up days when I was very low and suffering terrible pain and being able to share good news with you all has regularly made me realise how lucky I am.
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Last night I raised many a glass to you, and this morning I am blaming you for my aching head x

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Mar 05 2013
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Daily Ramblings

The Bandwagon

I wanted to blog about something light-hearted today as my big career plan essay yesterday was a little war and peace wasn’t it? Well in the absence of a hilarious anecdote to share with you…I give you my youngest daughter doing her best Gangnam Style dance at our friend’s Christening party on Saturday. Apologies for jumping on the bandwagon, but she’s only 17 months old…..and it is quite funny!

 

 

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Mar 04 2013
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Nine Two Five

It occurred to me earlier today that I haven’t done a full days work in two years, I’ve had a baby in that time but really, where did the time go? It seems like it was yesterday that I was clocking up a 50 hour week, watching the sun come up and set again while sat at my desk, calling my Dad to prevent me having a panic attack when I had to go down into the dark, scary basement on facilities checks and drinking far too much coffee that almost cost half my weekly wage. Now I’m lucky if I manage to get all my ironing done, take my youngest to play-group and make sure dinner is at least in the oven when Geordie gets home from work.

I’m pretty sure my CV states I am ‘a great co-ordinator’ and ‘organisation is my passion’ (or some similarly ridiculous buzz words) So where has it gone? Did I lose it along with my pregnancy baby weight? Did it slowly diminish while I spent hour upon hour watching Mr Bloom’s Nursery? Or is it still there lurking in the back of my mind behind the lists of size 5+ Pampers and Persil Non-Bio? I really hope it’s the latter as this realisation today has kick-started a plan of action……to go back to work.

Bog Off Eamonn

Bog Off Eamonn

I’ve heard many people say that it’s easier to get a job if you already have one? I’m not really sure I understand the logic there? Is that because you have recent, relevant experience or more chance of a glowing reference from your employer? Maybe I’m discounting this notion because I haven’t learned anything new or relevant to PR or marketing in over two years and I don’t want to believe that I am going to struggle before I even get started. Bearing this in mind I am considering a refresher course but I’m unsure about what I should refresh? I can (just about) speak, write and read English and while I am no Carol Vorderman I can still recite the times tables.

Working in media generally means having to completely submerge yourself in current affairs, so maybe my refresher course can be self-taught? I simply have to reinstate my subscription to The Times, switch Cbeebies over to BBC Parliament, CNN or Sky News (I really can’t stand Eamonn Holmes) and re-follow all those media bods on Twitter who are in the thick of the action around the globe? Also I’m thinking that a volunteer placement with a local paper might help me with the lack of recent experience issue…being the new girl again at 30 should be interesting!

The catalyst behind all of this is that I am missing a sense of achievement, I made it to 30, not without a few scrapes but it has taken me until now right now in fact, to realise what I really want to do with myself. Now I just have to make it happen. Maybe I can have it all, it just takes a little patience and a lot of hard work. Wish me luck!

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Feb 20 2013
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Daily Ramblings

Thursday’s Child

I was born on a Thursday and according to the traditional rhyme that makes me one of the cool kids, not the whiny, or overly polite or hard-working ones, a cool one! The story goes that it was 104 degrees that particular November day and my Mum was stuffing her face with melon when I decided I would make my journey into the big wide world. No no, she’d not had too much gas and air, I was born abroad and as luck would have it, being mahoosively pregnant during Winter south of the equator means kaftans, Birkenstocks and a shed load of ice!

Mondays child is fair of face,
Tuesdays child is full of grace,
Wednesdays child is full of woe,
Thursdays child has far to go,
Fridays child is loving and giving,
Saturdays child works hard for his living,
And the child that is born on the Sabbath day
Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay

It could have been a lot worse, I could have been born early and risked being the sulky Wednesday kid, or just over the cusp of Midnight resulting in Friday’s loving and giving (code for clingy and dependant). So a big thumbs up to mother nature for getting the timing spot on. I wouldn’t have minded being a Sunday’s child, bonny, blithe, good and gay sounds like the kind who just walks into success doesn’t it? Good-looking, but doesn’t know it, fair and honest and the happiest kid around. I like you Sunday’s child, you’re cool too!

Thursday’s child has far to go. I have moved home 24 times, I have lived on two continents (okay not that impressive but I know what Dover port and Heathrow airport look like) I’ve lived in three countries and travelled to a hell of a lot more, I think that living up to the Thursday’s child expectations is going well, but there is still father to go! I have such aspirations about travelling and seeing the world, there is just so much out there that has to be seen to be believed. I wrote an entire blog about my bucket list (you can read it here) and the majority of it involves travel, I simply have to get to Niagara Falls before I cark it. So what about Thursday’s adult, maybe time to make up a new rhyme?

Okay look, I’m just joking around and don’t really believe that anyone can be defined by a daft nursery rhyme, I mean, I grew up thinking Humpty Dumpty was an egg, but where in the rhyme does it say that? Poor misunderstood Humpty, maybe he was just big-boned?

PS, Sorry Wednesday sulky kids x

 

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Feb 19 2013
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Daily Ramblings

17

I found these photo's on my Mum's PC a little while ago, they've obviously been scanned in from a hard copy at some point as back when I was 17 there were no camera phones, how crazy is that, it was only 13 years ago! So today's blog is all about the year that was, 17. Please forgive my horrendous hair do, in my infinite wisdom I decided to have my locks lopped off while sunning myself in Australia earlier in the year and well..... it does get hot there you know!

17

I was having the time of my life when I was 17. When I look back on my life so far I think that 17 through to 18 was my year, the one where I had so much fun and adventures and life was a big barrel of laughs. I was a very lucky teenager and never had a problem with my weight, my athletic frame dared me to wear some shocking outfits that my parents most definitely did not approve of. Lots of getting ready at my friends houses went on. I started going out and having a social life at this age and loved nothing more than donning well.....next to nothing, a huge pair of heels and hitting the town, usually with my best friend Leanne. I also travelled back to my birthplace, Australia at this time and spent three months working and generally getting under my aunts feet. I met some wonderful people who I still keep in touch with now, and wont ever forget their kindness. Being 12,000 miles away from my family at this age really helped me to mature.....but only for a little while!17 Again

I look back with such affection to a time so filled with fun, it was all about chasing boys, getting attention, free drinks, little black dresses, high heels, lifts home, hangovers, the big breakfast, sun beds, being in bed by 3am with ears ringing. Around this time I dated a lot, there were house parties, kick arounds in the park with us cheer-leading like idiots or trying to do keepy-ups to impress the boys, we'd regularly go to the local Whetherspoons to order desert and a few drinks to while away the hours. I remember my friend Becky coming out with a classic one night while we were checking our outfits and hair in a club toilet and I think it sums up our audacious attitudes to a tee 'I mean lets face it, with my boobs and your legs who can resist us?' Thankfully my inhibitions have settled down somewhat since then, and just the thought of approaching the hottest guy in a bar and introducing myself now feels me with dread. I've grown up!

I can't help but smile at all of these memories, along with some I can't type that my Mum doesn't know about and I'm not about to open up Pandora's box here! Just a little reminiscing to keep me young. If you need a reason to lift a glass this weekend make your toast 'To 17'

What an amazing year!

 

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Feb 18 2013
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Daily Ramblings

Dad

Today’s blog is dedicated to my Dad because it’s his birthday. No matter how many times I’ve bugged him about it, I’m fairly sure he never reads the blog so I can just go ahead and call him a selfish idiot who cares about nothing but himself. DISCLAIMER: If you are Geordie’s Girls’ Dad and you happen to read the blog the last sentence is just a joke, although if you’d read the blog regularly you’d already know that and have a handle on my sense of humour when I write. So there!Dad

My Dad, he’s been in this job for 34 years now and I’m sure that he will agree that it’s not been an easy ride, what with the 30 house moves, few divorces (of his own and his kids) heartaches, funerals, grandchildren and of course Ben. Ben is our family Springer Spaniel who is about 103, or 14 in human years and every month my Dad vows not to buy another bag of dog food as he’s convinced that as soon as he does Ben will keel over and the food will go to waste. Ben is tone-deaf, or at least that’s what my Dad tells everyone, we think that he’s just sick of my Dad’s crap and chooses in his senility to blatantly ignore him. I’m concerned that every time I visit I am educated on how it only takes 6 paracetamol to put a dog down, especially one who is riddled with every ailment under the sun. But I know he wont do it, because when Ben dies, a teeny piece of my Dad will too.

My Dad loves cars, he has a freakish ability to remember a road or route map having driven it only once and that was usually 17 years earlier. Granted he used to be a Driving Instructor but really Dad, Google Maps have it down now you don’t need to know every road! I used to watch Top Gear as a young teenager so that we could chat about cars on the motorway when he collected me for the weekend, still got to be a TVR Tuscan for me Dad. He is a superb driver though and since we’ve moved closer to him and my step-mum he’s managed to shave 4 minutes off the journey time by doing 100mph down the A1. My Dad loves arsing around and winding the kids up something chronic, usually until I am the one saying ‘Right pack it in now Dad your just winding her up’. He loves to take the kids out walking and makes stories and games up along the way to keep the moaning at bay. These are the stuff of wonderful childhood memories, galloping around with sticks and fishing poles, lobbing stones into the waterfalls and eating your packed lunch on the rocks, and thats just my Dad. I’ve only ever seen him drunk three times in my 30 years, once so drunk that repeating ‘Look, I’ve got a chip on my shoulder’ then laughing hysterically while holding an actual chip from the take away on his shoulder, dripping grease down his shirt. Yeah, there’s a reason he doesn’t drink much. My Dad is a good-looking bloke, it’s his tache I’m told, but people have referred to him as the silver fox for years. And just as a special note for my younger sister, no he doesn’t have a specific tache comb x

DadWe’ve had our ups and downs me and my Dad, when I was a kid I knew I was in deep trouble when my Dad was called to speak to me. I fell out with him over both of my weddings (not the choice of bloke I might add, although I could have done with a heads up the first time around!) It has taken me a long time to realise that I don’t need to agree with everything my Dad says and it’s okay to have a difference of opinion. At the same time though I find myself asking for his advice more and more and enjoying just spending time chewing the fat with him.

The best bit of having a Dad is that he’s amazing with his grand kids and hearing him talk about how funny it was when they did this or that fills me with complete joy.

So Happy Birthday Dad, this year I got you two beautiful grandchildren who love you all the moon and stars, again x

Feb 17 2013
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Daily Ramblings

When Zombie’s Attack

I think I have married one of those utter weirdo’s who prepare for the end of the world and Geordie is expecting Zombies.

I am genuinely scared of everything zombie related and other than Shaun of the Dead and an amazing short story called ‘I, Zombie’ by Nick Spalding there is no fun in zombies. I was given a class in what to expect from Prof Geordie earlier in the week and basically if we get those slow-moving, idiotic zombies that just bimble around bumping into hedges and low walls then he reckons we’re okay and we’d outlive them. However if we are plagued by those mega fast, actually quite intelligent ones that mistake your head for an all you can eat buffet, like the ones from the new Brad Pitt film, we’re goosed! This is not the best news I’ve had all week.

Earlier he asked SIRI (the Iphone Assistant App) if he was gay, and SIRI replied ‘We were talking about you not me’ which was hilarious at the time. This is the best news I’ve had all week. I know I know, we need more friends. 

Oh God Not Starbucks!

Do Zombies pay income tax?

So about the inevitable zombie invasion, Geordie reckons we could easily cruise around the local supermarkets  thanks to his advanced driving/zombie squashing skills and stock up on everything we need relatively safely, with one of the kids manning the Gatling gun at the back window to keep the blood suckers at bay, then return to the safety of our compound (he actually said compound because apparently he knows some awesome remote places that will be safe……help me!)  where we can live like kings, having the best of everything….apart from freedom.

Following the end of the 13th cycle of the Mayan calendar in December just passed there were reports of people from all walks of life who had spent months preparing for the end of the world. Some have prepared to be completely self-sufficient in case of economic collapse, with gas and electricity being generated within their own homes, and growing their own food. Others have built shelters, bunkers and basically just reinforced their sheds to withstand nuclear attacks (can’t see the shed being a good option there to be fair) and some can do little more than pray which appears to be enough for them. Now I’ve seen a fair few end-of-the-world type films and with most of them I’m not sure I’d want to make it through the apocalypse anyway! I am Legend anyone………no I didn’t think so?

When/if the Zombies come, and I hope to Christ it’s those slow buggers, I’m going to do my best to not be the first person munched into a big mess, I can’t see Geordie taking the same approach…’Come on kids, It’s Zombie slaying time’!!!!!!!!!!

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Feb 16 2013
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Daily Ramblings

2.4 Children

I have spent the first half of today drawing designs for a double-decker bus for play-group, trying to sleep, caring for the little ones and not eating chocolate. It’s been a hell of a day so far I can tell you. The afternoon is starting off just as fascinating as I am sat in my hair dye t-shirt at my daughter’s computer typing and well dying my hair of course. When did Saturdays get so lame?

Not so long ago, Saturday was the highlight of my week, the morning spent shopping in town, usually for a new outfit for that evening, quick-lunch before heading home to play Mum/Wife and begin preparations for a night out. Saturday morning was my time for me and how I looked forward to it each and every week. I actually cannot remember the last time I did this, as I sit here and type I can’t remember the last time I spent longer than 30 minutes on my own, even when I go to the loo, my baby has worked out how to get the bathroom door open and will come and sit on my knee while I pee. I know, its gross.

Double decker bus at Inniskillin vineyard in N...

My bus is going to be so much better than this one

About that double-decker bus! I have promised the play-group kids I will make them a big red bus to kind of chug along for when we sing The Wheels on the Bus. Artistically it’s going to be ace, I’ve got the paint and bits and bobs to make it look realistic. Logistically it’s going to be a nightmare, the little ones are only around 16 months old and I imagine problems with over crowding, fighting and someone always bunks on without a ticket! I will upload a pic of my fabulous bus later this week. You know you want to make one.

I’ve tried to catch up on a  bit of sleep as last night my eldest daughter point-blank refused to sleep in her own bed. We’ve had a few sleep issues with her in the past but this was completely unexpected. Cue whole family awake until she finally gave up the ghost at 1.30am, crawled into her bed, snuggled down and dozed off. Baby settled shortly afterwards and by 2am I had turned into an extra from The Walking Dead. My body clock naturally woke me at 6.10am and the weekend started with a big sigh.

My baby is still full of cold, this is week three now? She’s also started doing a really good impression of our family dog barking so I’m thinking it’ll be a trip to the med centre on Monday for something stronger than Calpol.

I gave chocolate up for Lent. I am not religious, I did it because Geordie said I couldn’t. Then the patronising sod said to me at 1:00am ‘Babe seeing as you’re doing such a good job of sorting the kids out (both wailing like banshees and neither in their own beds) I’ll let you have a piece of Dairy Milk and it won’t count okay? He would LET me have a piece of Dairy Milk! Well if I was thinking about faltering before you can bet your life there is no way whatsoever I am backing down now. Condescending Get!

Yet another occasion where Geordie is lucky he’s not being fed his man parts……..covered in Dairy Milk!

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Feb 06 2013
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Daily Ramblings

I Do

So this week (in the UK) the government have passed a bill in favour of gay people being able to marry….and I say hurrah!  In my opinion I believe that if two people, regardless of gender love each other and want to make a legal commitment to become partners then they should jolly well be allowed to do so. I have a lot of gay friends and I can’t think of anything more wonderful than attending more weddings!

To follow on from this Geordie announces this morning that he doesn’t consider us properly married as we had a civil ceremony and not a religious one….er what? I think Geordie is lucky that he’s not being served his man parts for dinner tonight! While he is not particularly religious, only attending church for christenings, weddings and funerals usually, he is a ‘believer’ and would have much rather we’d had what he calls a ‘proper’ ceremony in the eyes on God. Don’t get me wrong I am not against being married in church it’s just that I’d feel like a bit of a hypocrite because I’m not 100% sure how I feel about religion, and when we decided to get married none of the local churches would marry us because I was a divorcee.

We're totally not married!

If the bill that was passed yesterday becomes law it states that same-sex couples can be married in civil ceremonies and religious ones that have been consented by religious institutions. And there lies the problem as so far religious institutions are keeping very quiet, or completely opposing the bill in a very public way. Our local Reverend would not marry us because I had been married before, so what chance do two women or two men have when faced with the ancient rules of the Bible?

In this day and age couples can have civil ceremonies in all different types of settings, from your own back garden to lavish country house hotels and even in theme parks, but I wonder how many people have ended up with those venues as second choice because the church was so unwilling to accept them? I cant help but think that the church could do with rolling with the times…just a little? Maybe my opinion is terribly misinformed and I do not fully understand the teachings of the bible on what is acceptable and what isn’t, but like everything in life, things change and people and society must adapt, at least that’s what I think.

Geordie has asked me to consider having a church blessing as we’ve just celebrated our first anniversary (supposedly the first year is the hardest) and regardless of my anxieties about religion, I cant turn down best wishes, thoughts and prayers for a long and happy marriage from anyone.

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Jan 28 2013
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Daily Ramblings

Geordie’s Round Up

In all my time blogging (all 11 months of it) I’ve never been so excited to sit down and type because…………I can SIT DOWN and type! I have a brand spanking new computer, a dusty but sturdy new chair (thanks dad) and the icing on the cake is that I’m one battered spinal disc short of a full set! Never has the saying ‘I’m not a complete idiot…..parts of me are missing’ been so true! As I have a note pad bursting with new, interesting and obscure blog ideas I thought it best to have a bit of a round-up and put the last few weeks to bed.

I’m going to start by highly recommending the Neuro wing at Newcastle’s RVI hospital as the staff there, from the tea lady to the neurosurgeon himself were all absolutely amazing and in the short 48 hours I was there, each one worked their ass off during their long shifts. The RVI itself does not look much like a hospital in parts, the two Costa Coffee shops and cinema kind of threw me when I first arrived, plus being nil by mouth for 24 hours prior to the op and being taunted by the smell of gingerbread lattes up on the fifth floor was hard going. Although I was to find this was just a small test in the grand scheme of things, sharing a ward with Lilly from South Shields was the real challenge. Lilly god bless her is an amazing character, her raw geordie accent can often be heard down the corridors and she is not one for holding back her opinion  ’worst hospital in the reegion this ya knaw’ (apologies at my attempt to pull of her accent in type) Lilly likes to get up in the night to go for a wonder, she always pees with the ward toilet door open and sometimes gets into the wrong bed, all the while narrating what she’s doing in her sing-song accent. At lunchtime on Saturday Lilly was offered cheese and crackers after all hell had broken loose because the catering staff had gotten her lunch order mixed up. Luckily Lilly likes cheese and crackers and she set to work opening the packets on her little bed tray, there was relative silence as we each tucked into our culinary delights when a piercing shrill rang out ‘Eeeeeee where’s me cheese gone?’

Image Credit http://www.madatoms.com

For the next 23 minutes (yes I timed it because it was like an episode of Benny Hill) Lilly asked every member of staff who stepped foot in the room to try to find some cheese, until literally everyone on shift was phoning down to the kitchens or nipping to ward 16 for a spare triangle of cheese, it was pure comedy. Lilly was eventually satisfied with four extra mini tubs of Flora instead, she sat up in bed and declared ‘I love butter me, not keen on cheese mind’ It’s moments like this that make me so glad for the people who work for the NHS who are genuinely caring and compassionate, without them I do wonder what kind of life our old and infirm would suffer.

Post op I stayed with my folks for five or six days and they had a whale of a time caring for my 16 month old daughter as I was unable to even pick her up. My Dad is now a huge fan of In The Night Garden and does not care for Rastamouse one bit……….. fool he doesn’t know what he’s missing!

To finish off then, I am super again. Let’s get on with it…….

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Jan 14 2013
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Daily Ramblings

The Calm

Well its been nine months and five days since I slipped a disc in my lower back (don’t worry this is going to be a relatively short post). It’s been 48 hours since my neurosurgery which has removed the disc and released the trapped nerve that has caused me so much pain. I am back on my feet although still walking like I’ve crapped myself but my leg is feeling amazing!

I’ve got an awesome tale to tell you about my short time at the RVI Newcastle and the hilarious patients I shared a ward with, but for the time being I need to chill out and heal.

Take care of yourselves and each other.

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Jan 09 2013
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Daily Ramblings

One Born Every Second

I watched an episode of channel 4 series, One Born Every Minute the other night, it’s a programme I try to avoid as I tend to twist myself into knots watching the labour and then cry like an idiot when the little wrinkly babies are born. It’s not good for my nerves.

Everyone has their child-birth stories to tell (mostly those with kids) some scare the living daylights out of you enough to pass on the whole idea of procreation, but amid the blood, sweat, tears and god knows what else there are some funny tales that wont put you of eating you dinner. Sadly mine is one of those gross but funny mash-ups…sorry.DSCF2406

I was pregnant with my second child and at the 22 week scan hoping to discover the sex of our baby so I could literally go to town shopping. I was a little nervous as I knew Geordie really wanted a boy and he’d sulk for a while if the result was pink, but luckily I had other more pressing issues on my mind when meeting the Sonographer. As our unborn baby was making the most of my eating-for-two diet (far too much burger king and Kellogg cereal at 4am) I had been unable to go to the toilet for a while, and on the day of the scan it had been 14 days since I’d erm…..had a number 2.(Sorry I’m really trying to put it mildly, you can’t begin to imagine the stick I got off Geordie who thought it was hilarious) Here’s the science bit….an ultra sound scan involves using sound waves to build a picture of the baby in the womb, I know this, I’ve had them done before and I know it’s not like a xray of your whole lower body. So why I thought it necessary to tell the lovely, well-mannered, quiet sonographer in much detail all about my terrible constipation and warn him that he might get my baby confused with a rather large mass somewhere around my lower body, I don’t really know??

Thankfully he was obviously used to dealing with complete idiots and told me not to worry as he wasn’t going to scan my bowel which for future reference  is a totally different area of the body. There was no need for lights in the scan room during the ultra sound because my face was burning as bright as the sun with embarrassment, and Geordie got his comeuppance for laughing at me as we were told we were expecting a girl. He found it very hard to hide his disappointment and sloped off down the corridor while I went in search of some industrial strength Senakot. Now look who’s the Daddy’s Girl!

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