race for life 2013

It has been a jam-packed few weeks and I’ve absolutely loved having some of my nearest and dearest around more often, especially while Geordie is away. I’ve travelled down to Devon and Cornwall (fell in love with Bideford fish and chips and Padstow beach) and back up again to Whitby (I’m still too terrified to go back into the Dracula experience). I’ve been to watch moto gp track training, I’ve sewn ball gowns and of course I have eaten way too much cake to even think about losing any weight for ‘Summer’ (whatever that is?) I’ve shared the momentous occasion that was Baby Isaac’s Christening (you remember my cake eating partner in crime Rachel…well her son Isaac, who will also grow to adore cake) which was a 9.5 hour bouncy castle-fest. The sun shone for the gorgeous little one on his special day and a good time was had by all.

Yesterday I ran the Race For Life 5k in memory of my lovely friend Rebecca, support of my wonderful school friend Emma and in hope for a healthy future for Fraja and my own two beautiful little girls. My mind was set on taking off and sprinting the course, Paula Radcliffe style, while my ever supportive running partner Danielle had a more realistic approach and pondered whether to carry her phone to take a picture for if/when I fell over! I had so much fun doing comedy power lunges and moshing during the warm up, as we made the most of being child free for an hour or so. We made a point of high-fiving a bunch of kids and a few marshals which ultimately lost us valuable seconds at the finish and has cost me the use of my legs for the last 24 hours. Unfortunately the sun was blazing at the start (that’s my official excuse) and I limped around in 31:02, greeted at the finish line by my eldest with these pride filled words…… ‘Aww Mum I thought you were gonna win it?’

Lessons I have learned in the last few weeks are as follows;

Always do the warm up and take it seriously instead of taking self portraits impersonating Sonja-from-Eastenders’ fitness dvd.

Do not get a stomach bug the morning of the six-hour car journey home from Devon….

Always have nappy bags in the car (for vomiting into) should the above situation arise.

Mini Pizzas are the best sustenance at a Christening…..all 9.5 hours of it…just keep eating and you will not get drunk….much.

And above all else, surround yourself with lovely people who make you laugh so much your stomach hurts, eat cake and be happy. Life is too short.

This week I’ve conducted a kind of sneaky experiment with my blog. I was reading about how to boost my viewing stats without plastering my url all over every social networking site or paying for advertising . I thought I might try a more simple approach and simply write about good news (hey it works for Russell Howard) and after sharing some of the positives in my daily life I more than tripled my best daily viewings total. In conclusion, we all love a happy ending don’t we? Thank you to everyone around the world who read the blog yesterday, I went to bed (bottom bunk) with a big smile of my face!

Inspiration

So back to the school leaver’s book which I was almost in tears reading (there will be a whole blog post on this soon, friends from school look out for your pages!) I’d like to say thanks to my old PE teacher Tim Wright for his comments which, 14 years later have inspired me to get off my ‘ever expanding gluteus maximus’ and do something positive for others.

I’m taking part in Race for Life UK this year, like many I have lost too many loved ones to cancer and I’ve felt those losses very deeply. I am taking part in the 5k event for my daughters and the future generations who might stand more of a chance of fighting and beating cancer if there is more money for research, clinical trials and ultimately treatment. Now that I’ve got you’re attention I’d like to ask for your help. Yes it’s a charity thing and yes I am going to ask for a teeny tiny small donation if you can spare it but more importantly I’m going to ask you join in. Argghhh run away, audience participation. No really, it’s not that scary and it doesn’t even involve raising your heart rate, if you don’t want to. You can run, jog, walk, skip or disco dance the 5k distance at any of your local Race for Life events, click here to register.

If you can’t take part but have a spare £2 in your pocket/purse/down the back of the sofa, please click here to laugh at my just giving page and help me to kick cancers arse.

Thanks x

Today I am going to write about the pensioner assault incident that I alluded to in yesterday’s post (which you can read here if you missed it) I’d like to start by saying that acts of violence against anyone should not be tolerated and even though my toddler is just 20 months old and what happened was really an accident, I still put her in the naughty corner to teach her a lesson. I was also desperately trying to not laugh probably giving myself a hernia in the process. The story goes a little something like this…

Rocket Propelled Pig

Toddler and I were in the waiting room at the train station last week, obviously waiting for our train! Toddler had been given a little Peppa Pig figurine from a friend and had spent the entire morning chewing it, chucking it about and generally having fun. I allowed her to take it on the journey with us as it was doing a sterling job of keeping her occupied while I tried to catch up on some reading while carefully keeping an eye on  her antics. The waiting room at the station is quite small, just three metal wire benches fill the space, so it’s not an ideal space for a game of throw the pig. We were soon joined by an elderly couple who sat at the far (5 feet away) end of the room and after the usual ‘Good Mornings’ ‘Nice weather’ pleasantries they sat down with an audible ‘oooff’ and smiled politely as toddler larked about blowing raspberries on the window. It was at this exact moment that toddler decided to play catch with the elderly woman, without actually telling her and with an effort Jessica Ennis would be proud of, she launched Peppa Pig at the woman, laughing hysterically as it ricocheted off her leg and landed under the bench.  I was horrified and yet quite impressed with her throwing arm! I apologised to the woman who didn’t even flinch (thank God) and as I turned to admonish toddler, trying to stop her from clapping excitedly and demanding another shot, she shouted ‘CATCH’ at the top of her voice. It took all I had not to laugh and firmly put her in the corner to think about her actions (consider her next victim more like).

My brother called me as this drama was unfolding and asked ‘Why is she doing that evil laugh again?’…….. Says it all really.

Leah & Marc

Okay look I’m sorry…..I’ve gotten into this really bad habit of writing half a blog post and then being distracted by cute cats pictures on either Facebook or Twitter and then ultimately not finishing the blog post and before you know it three weeks have gone by without so much as a sentence! You’re all probably happy for the break…aren’t you? Well tough because I’m back and I have good news, no moaning Minnie from me, it’s all super cheery positives for this post so if you’re in a crappy mood you have two options, you can try to lighten-up and read on or bog off. Decisions decisions?! (ps, I just wandered back on to Facebook for a minute there as well haha) I think it’s really important to celebrate life’s little (and big) achievements and more importantly to spread good news and make others smile, so if you’re ready and your seat is in the upright position…let’s go congratulating! First up on our happy roller-coaster today; huge congrats to my lovely friend Leah and her new husband Marc, they tied the knot on Monday at the stunning Thornton Hall, Wirral after dating for FOREVER! I want to wish them all the love and luck in the world for their future together. I’ve known Leah since I was 11 and just seeing her looking so effortlessly elegant in her gown made me well up! Much love to you both, lovely people. More congratulations to my fabulous friends Andy and Claire who are celebrating their engagement in Dundee this weekend, I’m absolutely gutted the girls and I can’t be there to celebrate but we shall indeed lift a glass of Ribena to you on Saturday night! Andy and Claire have the most amazing little dog called Percy (the Pomeranian) who I’m going to dog-nap when they go on holi……oh did I say that out loud?

Claire & Andy

Next up a different kind of celebration, but news to celebrate none the less. My wonderful little sister just completed her first year exams at uni and is now free for three months of non-stop partying, well done spud I’m very proud of you! And keeping it in the family my lovely older sister has just secured a place in the Great North Run and I’m ecstatic that we’ll all be there to support her with a huge banner (and most likely indulge in the pre-race carb-loading and post-race drinks).

My final congratulations (you’ll be pleased to hear) goes to my two beautiful daughters because they have done an amazing job of keeping me occupied (toddler assaulting pensioners and 7 year-old practising recorder all hours) and keeping my mind off missing Geordie, well done girlies, Mum loves you both very much…….One final note, how cool am I to have such good-looking friends?

No Wheels for Me

I was woken by the sun this morning, or at least that’s what the cheeks on my daughter’s poorly teething face felt like. So after a quick beaker of warm milk to fill her tummy and a drop of Calpol, we got wrapped up to head out along the perimeter road for a morning jog, pooch in tow. It was yet another beautiful morning here behind the wire and I’m starting to really enjoy getting out early when the airbase is quiet and there’s no traffic around. It’s at times like these that you can get so lost in your thoughts that you forget how you got from A to B.

It’s been quite a busy week and I got to thinking about a random conversation on Friday when a friend had mentioned trying out unicycling, obviously I laughed and made all the relevant circus jokes (how do you kill a circus?…. go straight for the juggler….two cannibals eating a clown..one turns to the other and says….does he taste funny to you?….boom boom) and predictably the conversation moved swiftly on to other subjects that I was less likely to try and make fun of.

So back to my walk and can you even begin to imagine my shock and confusion at the sight of a man unicycling towards me on what can only be described as a banana yellow unicycle……and he was really good….I stopped dead in my tracks, half throttling the dog in the process. I took out my headphones to wish him good morning in the hope that if what I was seeing was real, he would reply….and he did very confidently, as if the fact that unicycling around at airbase at 8am on a Saturday morning was a completely normal thing to do. As I walked on, adjusting my ear phones again, I couldn’t bring myself to look back and check that the previous 60 seconds of my life hadn’t been a wonderful subconscious dream, and that he really was quietly wobbling down the road behind me, arms out-stretched for balance.

I carried on walking in a bit of a daze. I genuinely had no idea if what had just happened was real and it was only at 7pm this evening that I utilised the power of social media and asked the community page for the airbase to tell me I wasn’t losing my marbles. Luckily the lovely guys and girls came through and confirmed that one of the Padre here on camp does indeed have a passion for unicycling and that no, I’m not as crazy as I thought. Thank the Lord eh?

I am living on an RAF base 15 miles from the nearest town, I can’t drive and my designated driver (Geordie) is away for the next three months. I spend my days engrossed in the latest episode of Mr. Bloom’s Nursery, while my 19 month old toddler swan dives off various soft play equipment. I drink too much coffee and eat a bit too much cake. (I actually text my friend Rachel on Thursday morning in crazed capitals no less, at 7:30am demanding she go with me to the coffee shop for Victoria sponge, so you see I have a problem). I also have a little pooch who, as a border terrier cross-breed requires a good couple of miles walk at least once a day, so sitting on my ever-expanding arse sampling the new coffee shop carrot cake isn’t really benefiting anyone!

I promised myself that I would ‘smash ‘Insanity‘ this time around. With Geordie out-of-the-way and not admonishing me like my high school P.E teacher for not training everyday (and how he loves to do that which ends with me resenting him for being fit as a butchers dog….do people still say that?) I thought I stood a better chance of getting into a strict routine and ultimately start to look and feel better about myself. But alas it would seem that after a 6 day cycle I can’t stand the sight nor gloating sound of Shaun T, and I am still convinced he is trying to kill me. Insanity isn’t for me, and if you’re reading this Geord, I’m not sorry because I gave it a good go…..twice x

So almost four weeks into my so-called training routine I have completely sacked off Insanity, eaten a fair bit of cake, chocolate hobnobs, custard creams and went a bit mad and had chips, curry and Irn Bru for dinner tonight. I didn’t just fall off the wagon, I obliterated it! As with any downfall there must be a turning point, the phoenix rising from the ashes…or crumbs in my case! And I have my wonderful friends, who also eat cake, to thank for my epiphany!

Defiant Toto will get blown away for good one day!

I have discovered that despite the fact that I live behind the wire and currently have to rely on my friends and family to escape the gold-fish bowl, there is a way to get your heart rate up and burn a few calories………..no not perving at all those cute guys in uniform…but the windy, unforgiving perimeter road! Rachel (from the earlier cake story) and me decided the weather was nice enough for a power stroll with our little ones and earlier this week we set off around the airfield assuming it was somewhere around 2-3 miles in distance…only to be completely battered by what felt like hurricane strength winds, while jets flew over head adding to the buffering, making essential gossiping impossible. We eventually made it, bedraggled into air traffic control to ask (read as beg) if there was a quicker route back to the residential side of camp. Sadly the answer from the smug looking airman was no and so we re-wrapped the children up in their buggies and headed back down the perimeter road, at times clinging on for dear life as the weather closed in. Finally reaching the safety of a built up area an hour later we calculated that we’d power walked (been pushed) 6 miles and vowed to continue our healthy start by not opening the biscuit tin the moment we stepped in the front door…..I lasted two hours and that was only because there was jelly in the fridge, which hardly touched the sides as I cleaned the pot. Even though it felt a bit hard going at times, it was fun. We talked about all manner of random things, the kids mainly slept and my dog didn’t poop anywhere near the runway so that’s a bonus!

Since our first escapade at the beginning of the week I’ve clocked up 18 miles of heart racing power walking and jogging and I’m really pleased that on nights like tonight, when I’ve eaten dinner and gotten a bit bored with the ironing, my first instinct is to stick on my Nike’s, wrap the little one up and head out with Toto for an hour’s fresh air….even if we don’t end up back in Kansas!

Random acts of kindness make the headlines now which is a lovely way to end the national news bulletin after a week of bombings, funerals, murders and the fatal Texas explosion just this morning. It’s a huge annoyance that social networking sites like Facebook are becoming constant streams of like-this-image-if-you-care updates, especially the ‘My Dad said he’ll buy me a car if I get a million likes’ Oh bog off and finish your coursework will you? My Twitter feed regularly features celebrity RT requests for the most ridiculous of causes……hence only really following one celebrity (does that make me a stalker?).

I really think it’s about time we all started being a bit nicer to each other. We’re always telling our kids to do it, so instead of  a bitchy comment or turning a blind eye how about offering a helping hand, a kind word or a compliment once in a while? I’ll tell you what….I’ll get the ball rolling….

I don’t know what you’ve done with your hair…but you are looking fabulous!

Okay…..your turn.

Things that make me happy; Watching people trip up in the street, seeing my daughter’s laughing and messing about, Justin Timberlake‘s tune Suit & Tie and the video, new bed linen, dressing up (steady), winning races (even if my opponent is only 7) finishing a really good book, laughing so much I can’t speak, spending any amount of time with my gorgeous little sister and ripping into J-Lo and her hoops. It also makes me blissfully happy when Geordie even attempts to do a load of laundry, just once in a while so don’t I feel like it’s my sole purpose in life. Reading Vogue cover to cover while sipping a gingerbread latte in a quiet Costa makes me happy too. See I’m quite easily pleased aren’t I?

I’m a bit of an admin nerd and I love organising things, my weekly shopping list is on a spreadsheet, our kitchen calendar is a Where’s Wally? family grid type with dates and appointments clearly colour-coded and I don’t care who knows it….this makes me happy!

Whatever it is that makes you happy, do it today, as much as possible. Go on, get on with it. Now where did I put my highlighters?

Radio One’s Scott Mills

If you’ve not heard or seen it before, Innuendo Bingo is a game on Scott’s show that involves celebrity guests and guys from Radio One sat opposite each other, they take mouthfuls of water and then Scott proceeds to play audio clips from various TV shows that were written innocently, but can be easily misconstrued as very rude. The result is that one, if not both of the players in the studio then spit the water, in spectacular fashion, all over their opponent. It’s stupidly hilarious and I’m addicted to watching it. Since the first viewing  I’ve often found myself thinking ‘that’s an awesome quote for Innuendo Bingo’ and usually when watching cartoons, those old school episodes of Rainbow have a lot to answer for!

If you need a laugh today, please watch the video and enjoy DJ Danny Howard and Chris (from the show) in possibly the wettest Innuendo Bingo episode ever….. stupidly funny.

Happy Tuesday!